Political Speakers...but not the good kind.

Political Speakers…but not the good kind.

So, keep in mind that the following is just my opinion, that I am not in any way affiliated with any political party here in Cape Verde, and that my beliefs or statements are in no way intended to represent those of the United States government or the Peace Corps.

So it’s almost election day here in Cape Verde, and the politicos (politicians) are really ratcheting up the forca (energy)…or at least the volume. It is now clear that the general strategia de campagna (campaign strategy), on the part of both the MpD and PAICV parties, seems to be that of repetition and deafening their constituencies. There are no caucuses, no town-hall meetings, no speeches, no kissing babies. There’s not even a political message of hollow promises to help the people of Cape Verde. Here’s what they do instead. The ingenious party leaders rent humongous, Rolling Stone rock-concert-sized speakers and amps, run them off of gasoline generators, stick them in the back of the hiluxes (Toyota pick-ups, which are also rented), crank up the volume to a truly unbelievable level, and drive around all day blaring really bad techno gay bar music and party lines.

The PAICV trucks have especially bad gay bar music (I worked at a bar that played bad techno gay bar music so I am something of an expert on this matter) blaring and about every 30 seconds the music (it’s the same song over and over and over) fades and the party message is broadcast. It goes (and I’ve got this memorized by now) “Na desoite de Maio, vota sed, vota na melhor lista, vota na melhor equipo, vota na desevolviment do Ribeira Grande, vota PAICV!” (On May 18th, vote early, vote for the better list, vote for the better team, vote for the development of Riberia Grande, vote PAICV!), and then starts back up with the techno music.

The MpD trucks are especially insidious, as their party leaders have managed to import a lesson from American advertising practices, and have developed a “jingle.” It’s awful. It’s worse than that commercial that comes on during every break of your favorite TV show, it’s worse than the maddening radio jingle ads for cell phones or cable TV providers. It is apparently sung by an AC/DC version of Alvin and the Chipmunks, or possibly a group of small screaming and tortured children. If there are radio stations in hell, this song is playing on every one of them. If your nightmares had a soundtrack, this would be it. The worst thing about it is its simplicity. It starts with 2 seconds (I’ve timed it) of mandolin strumming, and then goes “MpD, MpD MpD!” It is absolutely the worst thing ever recorded. Someone deserves to die for this jingle. The worst part about it is that it is only 16 seconds song, and then it repeats, on an endless loop, all day long.

Now, all of this would be bad enough if you just had to hear it when the trucks were driving by, but in Cha di Igreja (and in Coculi as well) they’ve (both PAICV and MpD) taken an even more senseless and horrendous tact…they’ve rented people’s roofs and verandas (balconies). You’ll recall that Cha di Igreja is tiny…you can walk from one end to the other in three minutes. If you shout, everyone in the entire town can hear you. Keep in mind also that it is situated in a valley less than 1000 meters across, with sheer and looming mountain walls on two sides, so there’s an echo. (Maybe folks in he States have forgotten what an echo out in the middle of nowhere is like, as they probably don’t exist there anymore.). Well anyway, PAICV rented a balcony (for an absolutely staggering amount of money) of one family’s house on one side of the plaza. Their techno music-message is coming through full blast on 2 big Peavy amps. Not to be outdone, MpD has rented the roof of a house just across the plaza…not more than 30 feet away from the PAICV balcony. They have 5 speakers. The nefarious characters in charge of this godawful project have actually pointed their speakers at the speakers of the other party, like a little west African arms race, with speakers and amps instead of ICBMs.

At 10am every morning, like clockwork, both systems are fired up and the cacophony begins. It goes all day long, and does not stop until 10pm. Twelve solid, continuous, uninterrupted hours of “MpD, MpD MpD!” and bad techno gay bar music. The volume is truly frightening and when compounded by the echo off the mountain walls, the result will give a guy fits…sorta like the auditory version of epileptic strobe lights gone all haywire. You can’t think, but you can feel the bass in your stomach. Those that have TVs or radios can’t hear them over the noise. People standing 2 feet from one another literally have to yell to be heard over the din. The drain on the already meager power supply causes all the lights in town to flicker and fail. As I type this, the water in my glass is jumping. It’s absurd.

The worst part is, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Tud gent ta zongod. (Everyone is pissed off.) EVERYONE in town HATES the music. Absolutely despises it. Cha di Igreja prides itself on being a very laid-back, quiet, churchy community. There are a lot of old folks. People here enjoy their naps and take them very seriously. This is an affront to our entire way of life here. Essentially, both parties are managing to further alienate an already apathetic (if not down right hostile) population of voters. Informal polling suggests that not a single soul in Cha di Igreja will vote this Sunday, due in part to the inadequacy of the parties and their candidates, but mostly because of the goddam heinous loud music.

And there is further evidence of the idiocy of those in charge of the campaigns. The aforementioned trucks that tote the speakers around the island are often the only public transportation in and out of the smaller, more isolated villages, but they have been rented (also for an obscene amount of money) for the 3 weeks leading up to election day. Consequently, there are people in Mocha and Ribeira Alta and Boca de Mocha who are stranded in their villages until after Election Day, because their transportation is driving around balring music all day. It’s absolutely unbelievable. Yesterday, I was in Cruzinha to interview a fisherman, and the candidates for one of the two parties showed up in town, arriving in a minivan that was also blaring. They handed out flags and T-shirts and hats, and put stickers and posters everywhere, had a few beers, took pictures of each other down by the water, and then proceeded to do something truly staggering. In a poor town (one of the poorest in Cape Verde) where people are actually going hungry, they, the candidates, feasted at the Residencial Sona Fish (a place that caters strictly to rich European tourists that almost no Cruzinhan has or could ever afford to eat in), on a lunch of rice, shellfish, grilled tuna and lobster, wine and beer. They entered the restaurant as the smells of their smorgasbord exited, and you could actually see the mouths of Cruzinhans watering at the thought of all that food. Two hours later, buzzed and bulging in the waste, they left in a cloud of dust and thumping bass. Unbelievable.

By my estimation, the campaigns have now spent, in three weeks, more money on hats and t-shirts and posters and really bad, really loud music, than they did all of last year on development projects in Cha de Igreja or Cruzinha. What a shame.