Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Killer Chinese Shit Balls

August, 29, 2008

Killer Chinese Shit Balls!!!

So I’ve just discovered what can only be described as a superior Chinese loja product. It is quite possibly the only superior Chinese product available in Cape Verde. It’s called...well I don’t know what it’s called because its written in Chinese, but its a tiny little bag of foul smelling fly killing shit balls.

If you look back a little ways in the blog you’ll see an entry about how abso-lutely crazy the flies have been making me the past few months...and I’m using “crazy” in the truest sense of the word. Well anyway last week I was at a restaurant in Poto Novo and they had these little pink balls on dishes out and they were surrounded by dead flies. I asked and was told that they were indeed foul smelling fly killing balls and that they were available at a loja there in Port. So I bought a 20 of them (they’re only 20$00 CVE each) and tested them out they instant I got home.

Works like a goddam charm!!!!! Although they smell like shit...literally...like animal poop, they friggin’ kill flies like you would not believe. As you can hopefully tell from the picture below (not for the weak stomached) they do their job exceedingly well even. You tear open the packet and set out the shit balls and logue kel moment (instantly) the flies zero and and zip right to the tray where they are immediately incapacitated. No sht, they land on the stuff and immediately go into some sort of insect fit and sputter and die in about 5 seconds.
I’m not sure what’s in these shit balls, and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know, but I’m happy as hell to have trays of them laying around my house. I did read the back of the package (which is printed in broken English and provides for some hilarious reading. This is, word for word, what it had to say:

“This bait can lure and kill fly quick. And is suitable for family, restaurant, breeding farm where flies are bread and gathered. The product is easy for use. Use: Unpack the bag and dump balls into open pan. Put it at the place where flies appear. In case where flies are much more, it is better to control density of flies to spread your balls. It can increase lure against flies if spreading a bit of beer on your balls. The product has lessen toxicity against persons and cattle. Warn: Insecticidal!!”

Awesome.

More about awesome Chinese translations into english later on. For now, feast your eyes on a thousand dead flies, which accumulated in less than one hour.

1 comment:

Kay said...

Holy shit! That's a lot of flies. The Chinese balls must be soaked in some major pesticide. Your killer balls. LOL